hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
