Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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