worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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