I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
