im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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