doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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