Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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