what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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