the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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