I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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