Who did Billy Mays play for?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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