i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
