you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
