Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
