at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
