Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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