so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
