i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
NoShamevember. You game?
I want to be your penis for a week.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
