I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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