There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
