Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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