Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
