Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
