I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
