If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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