he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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