She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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