Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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