his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
