I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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