mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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