i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
