My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
