I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
