Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
