You work out of a Hotel?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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