if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
