Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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