Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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