i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
