Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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