her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
