Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
