Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
