he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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