Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
zippers are such a cool invention
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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