I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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