Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
