Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
