Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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