im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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